Reflections

As far as years go, 2009 has been the best of my life. It had its hardships – but all were overcome and I am leaving this year with a sense peace and very little unfinished business.

The Good:
After being engaged for nearly 2 years – Tim and I started to plan our wedding for May 2009. It was hard work – such hard work that I often compared it to having a second part time job. When I wasn’t at work or doing my extra activities, I was meeting with someone about something. As money conscious as we are – there was a fair amount of stress trying to balance our needs, wants and checkbook.

The wedding really was a beautiful time for us. Although the wedding was the highlight, having our parents, siblings and family and friends for the week preceding the ceremony was the best! We visited, ate and drank to our hearts content.

The wedding was awesome! I have no real complaints. There were a few issues – like the cake that was supposed to feed 100 people was easily big enough to feed 300 people. There were a few no-shows…and honestly that is probably the biggest annoyance of the day. Other than that it was the best. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better day. I kept looking at Tim thinking “Wow…he’s my husband now…” After this long together you would think that such a simple thing wouldn’t have mattered – but it did then and still does now.

Right from the wedding we headed off on our honeymoon. One of the best parts of the trip is that because of the swine flu – we were able to stay at a really fancy resort for a much better price. Oh…and all that gourmet food…mmmmmm.

Coming home from Mexico to find out we were having a baby was surreal. Although we had been trying to get pregnant – I remember doing and saying nothing for a long time. So long that Tim started to get worried.

Less than 10 days later I quit smoking. I had deluded myself into thinking it would be easier to do this once I found out I was pregnant. If getting pregnant took a year – I wanted another full year of smoking. Creating and nourishing the life inside of me was not and sometimes still isn’t reason enough in my head not to smoke. To quell your fears – I have not resumed my nasty habit and don’t plan to.

The Bad:
*I had to re-write this section a couple times. I don’t like complaining so I decided I would just list point form.

• Work struggles.
  My brothers did not come to our wedding.
  Quitting smoking. (This gets to be in both the good and the bad column)

So what would I change about 2009? Nothing, Nada, Zip. For real people!!! I am not exaggerating. 95% of my year rocked and the parts that sucked are worth it if they made the rest better.

I am not big on New Year Resolutions…but I thought I would list some of the things I look forward to in 2010.

Meeting our baby and all of our firsts together.
Learning to be a mom.
Loving my husband more and more each day.
Making decisions about our life and what we are going to do with our futures.
Resuming my piano lessons.
Losing the baby weight.
Continuing life smoke free.
Paying off my last student loan?!? When I left school I had nearly $55,000.00 in debt. The goal is to be student debt free by the time I am 30. Tim and I both have worked so hard to get rid of the loans and we are down to 1 loan. Although I am immensely proud of this – I also want to accomplish a goal that I set 6 years ago when I graduated.
Our big visit to Ontario.

To all of you who might be reading – Thank YOU! As only my family and friends have this address, that means you played a role in making 2009 the best year ever. I think we can all look forward to 2010 and all the greatness to come!

Week 35 Update

Middle of the night pee breaks: 4
Pounds Gained: 4, 584, 625 + the donut I had this morning
Blood Pressure: Depends who is talking to me
General Disposition: Depends who is talking to me
Major Cravings: Food
# Items left to do on "List of things to do before baby comes": 7, 654, 216
# times I have cried this week: 5
Steps to getting out of bed at night: 12 1. From side to back 2. Flatten back 3. Say ouch 4. Slightly lift opposite hip 5. Say ouch 6. Wedge extra pillow or blanket under raised hip 7. Say ouch, ouch, ouch 8. Swing top leg to gather momentum 9. Say ouch while simultaneously grabbing groin and realising swinging leg was a dumb idea 10. Sit upright 11. Sit on edge of bed for a minute to gather strength for the rest of my journey 12. Turn around and say snarkily to husband who has offered help "I don't need help - I'm not an invalid...just pregnant" and storm off to the washroom.
Tums consumed in one day: at least 5

It’s been so long – I don’t quite know where to start. Life has been going…well just going really. Christmas has come and gone and the baby got his/her first Christmas presents! Daddy bought baby Vancouver Olympics gear to match moomy (this is a typo but exactly how I feel so I will leave it…haha) and Aunt Sue got the baby a teddy bear. This is the first teddy bear and therefore shall now hold a special place in the hierarchy of all teddy bears to come.

In baby development, our little pumpkin is now likely fully developed and focusing on putting on weight and gaining even more brain power. At this stage, the baby is around 5.5 pounds and could be as long as 20’’. The doctor says the baby still appears to be head down which I can kind of tell by the location of the heaviest movement. The baby’s feet/legs/bum sit within the perfect eye shot for me no matter what I am doing.

I am doing well. No new aches or pains or complaints. One of my old complaints (fatigue) is definitely getting worse. I am soooo tired and at this point I don’t even care enough not to complaint about it. I know, I know…I ain’t seen nothing yet. But for now – I just want to complain about it and garner as much sympathy as possible. Every day I am my own champion at work, “you can do it, you can do it.” I manage to – but only the lord knows how.

Must go, until next time!
Candee and Baby

Manic Monday

So, I was actually having a really hard time coming up with a story for Manic Monday. This bothered me for so many reasons. The first and most important reason is because I am crazy and know full well the extent of my own craziness. I don’t try to hide it – I embrace it. That being said, there should always be a crazy story – shouldn’t there?

Flashback to yesterday. I was telling Dad a story and he was the first person to really appreciate the extent of my stupidity. I thought y’all might appreciate it - so here goes:

I get this weird pain right around my belly button. It’s very hard to describe. It’s on the inside, it is somewhat sharp and if the baby plays for too long in that area, it can become very, very tender. This spot has been getting progressively more painful as the days pass and there is less room to play in Mommy's belly.

Crazy moment: I had myself convinced it was the baby pulling on its umbilical cord. ‘Cause you know, the baby’s umbilical cord is attached to my belly button. So every time I would get the pain, I would say: “Baby, stop yanking on that cord!”

….

….

….

I only hope that I have given y’all sufficient time to absorb what I just wrote. I had myself convinced that the baby was yanking on the umbilical cord, which in turn was really hurting my belly button region.

Although it may have taken me months – there did come a time when I realized that the baby’s own umbilical cord had nothing to do with my belly button and furthermore, that the baby surrounded by my womb did not have direct access to my belly button.

For the record, I had thought of myself as a fairly intelligent, well read individual until this realization. The moment it became clear I wracked my brain to try and remember if I had uttered this stupidity out loud! My concern was this…if I had said it out loud – was it so dumb that anybody who heard it wouldn’t have said anything for fear of being THE ONE who clued me in to an anatomy lesson I should have been very familiar with by this point?

Manic Monday

Rules.

I am usually a free spirit and do not have ‘rules’. I mean that – I am rule free. Oooohhh, that was a lie. I have some rules: always be nice, always give to charity, always be thankful. Okay, but besides these rules – which really are mandatory so I would question if they are “rules” - I am a rule free wife.

I am always telling Tim how easy he has it and that maybe I should start bossing him around. Just for fun. But then he reminds me I have it just as easy and we call a truce on the teasing and resume our rule free life.

Pregnancy changed everything. I officially have rules and beyond that – I even label them rules. As in, “Tim, new rule: (insert new rule here). He smiles, or cringes and continues on his merry way. Life is good until he breaks a rule and then I go a little berserk. Like, did he really just break a rule? What am I going to do? How should I handle this? Is this my future or is this some temporary craziness because of hormones? Only time will tell I guess, though I can say with absolute certainty that I hope this is my crazy person hormones.

Every story has a beginning…

So I bought myself chocolate milk the other day and stuffed it in the fridge. We don’t buy milk. We are vegetarians and besides, I don’t really like the taste that much. Tim exclusively drinks soy milk (insert gag here) and/or uses it to cook. I am sure you are thinking, then why the chocolate milk? Easy, chocolate milk helps me get extra protein on days that I am concerned I haven’t eaten enough. The chocolate flavor covers up the gross taste just enough that I can down it without too much fuss.

I opened the fridge yesterday morning and the milk was gone. (I was not opening the fridge the get the milk…)

Me: Tim, where is my milk?
Tim: I drank it. Why?
Me: You know the rule. It was mine.
Tim: But you weren’t drinking it, it was going to go bad. You don’t even like milk.
Me: I don’t care. It was mine.
Tim: But…
Me: No buts! You drank my milk. ***Use your imagination for the rest of the crazy person rant***

It’s okay to feel bad for my husband. He does put up with my crazies. He married me, and then I went crazy. He may have a different opinion on when I went crazy – but this is my blog and I will write what I want.

Back on Wednesday,
Candee

Update - 32 Weeks

Well, it has been another week since my last update. 51 days to go and all is good. I had my OB appointment today and Tim was able to come. It was nice because he got to hear the babe’s heart beat for the first time. Everything was good except the scale! After some time of nearly no weight gain – I certainly made up for it this time. Dang! I actually had to take a deep breath…it’s for the baby, it’s for the baby. Oh, and I really like donuts. Damn you Tim Horton’s – you are sabotaging me with your delicious donuts and creamy coffees and excellent, friendly service. Maybe if our location was full of jerks – I wouldn’t be so keen on going all the time.

Who am I kidding? Gordon Ramsey could work at the Timmies down the street and scream the f-word at me and I would still go back for a walnut crunch. Mmmmm….speaking of which….

Okay, on to brighter things that won’t make me want to crawl into bed and sleep all day. Tim is on his off rotation and it is soooo nice to have him home. Last night the baby was beating me up on the inside and Tim got to sit and watch all the fancy foot work. Which we were able to confirm at the Doctors that it is most likely footwork because the baby is head down! It’s amazing the types of things that make me happy these days.

In baby development, he or she is around 17 inches long and weighs around 4 pounds. The baby is a fully developed little person but is perfecting the lungs and getting smarter every day.

I am doing ok. I will admit that I have been real emotional for about a week now. I blame it completely on hormones. I never went through any crazy hormonal stuff with early pregnancy, but I might be making up for it now. Or I am just getting the jitters.

We still haven’t sent out Christmas stuff…but we are hoping to get it all out by the weekend – which should mean that packages will arrive before the big day. So the next few days will be busy, busy, busy!

Check you later, gators!
Candee

Pregnancy Questionnaire

MY PREGNANCY:

Mother Name: Candace

Age: 29

Father Name: Tim

Age: 32

FIRSTS:

Is this your first pregnancy?: Yes

How did you find out you were pregnant?: On my honeymoon I could smell things that Tim couldn’t…gross things. Ewwwwwwww! I was also very tired and sickly feeling. We blamed all of this on the heat.

What kind of pregnancy test did you take?: One that came back positive. The cheapest brand.

How many?: Just one.

What were your first symptoms? Smell, nausea, tiredness, faintness.

Who did you tell first? Our parents.

Who was with you when you found out? Tim.

Was baby planned?: Yup.

When was baby conceived?: The week or two before our wedding.

How far were you when you found out?: 5-6 weeks.
My BABY:

Due date: February 3, 2010

Would you want to know the sex?: Me not so much but it was important to Tim.

Do you know the sex?: Yes.

If so, boy or girl? If you want to know, you can always email or call me.

Any names?: It took forever, but yes we seem to have one now.

Any ultrasounds?: Yup. One for a Nucal, one for Anatomy scan and one follow up.

Have you heard the heartbeat?: Yes. It’s amazing.

Who do you think baby will look like? I really don’t know. We will have to wait and see.

Will baby have any siblings?: In the future.

Have you and dad felt baby move? Yes. Daddy has a harder time waiting for it because he is impatient, but he has gotten lucky a few times. I feel the baby all the time now.

When did you start to show?: Who knows. Started to get chubby(ier) looking around the 12 week mark. Maybe around 16 or 17 weeks?

How long could you wear your regular clothes? 12-15 weeks. I still try to wear some of my flowier shirts…only they don’t flow any more.

Are you excited?: Beyond.MISCELLANEOUS:

Did you have morning sickness?: Yes, a lot of it. Thankfully we had only told our parents so I had to fake it every day. If I was able to complaint about it, I would have been a mess!

Do you have any cravings?: All the time! Mostly potatoes though. Any kind – mashed, boiled, fried, baked…whatever.

Do you have any mood swings?: I don’t think so. Tim might have a different answer. I actually cry less…weird but I will take it!

Are you a high risk pregnancy?: Nope – easy peasy.

Any complications?: Nope – nothing.

Formula or breastfeeding? BF

Have you bought anything for baby yet?: Clothes and a most of the nursery. Still have a very long list.

Who will help with baby after their born? Tim, Mom, Dad and Karen. (Thank you!!!!!)

What is your favorite thing about being pregnant? Loving someone I haven’t met.

What is the worst thing about being pregnant? Ummm…meat cravings? I could do without the old person aches and pains but I suffer them gladly enough.

What’s one thing do you miss doing since being pregnant? Smoking, drinking, eating foods where I didn’t read the label to see what kind of ‘poison’ it contains.

Any days you wish you weren't pregnant?: No, never. I embrace this miracle everyday.

Are you ready for baby? Emotionally I am getting there. There are days where I question if I will be a good mom, where I worry that I will do right by our baby, by our family. Physically I will be ready when the baby is (but hopefully not until a minimum of 37 weeks). Materially – I don’t have every modern convenience, but I do have a set of cloth diapers, some clothes, a bed and breasts…so I feel comfortable that the baby would do ok.

How many kids do you want?: 3 or 4 but I don’t know what God’s plan is for us – so I will keep open to other possibilities.

Do you talk to your baby?: All the time. Mostly when I feel movement cause then I know he/she is awake.

Do you still feel attractive?: No. I was ok until recently but in the home stretch I feel kind of like an elephant. I walk and breath heavy, I shuffle like I am 90, I am swollen and tired and look it!

Have you had your baby shower yet?: No. January 3.

How far along are you now?: 32 weeks.

Week 31 Update

I have been away for a while and wish I had something super exciting to report. It was Tim’s birthday last Friday but he was working midnights. I spent the evening watching funny movies and relaxing with Princess. On Saturday I went to Walmart to not only pick up his gift, but to get some gift for my secret stork. I joined this thing where it’s like a secret Santa but for expecting first time moms. You get a little list of things to buy that will help the mom and ship it out. Then you get a package from your own secret stork. The mom I had is expecting a baby of the opposite gender so it was really fun to check out all the goods! I also baked a cake. I had the grandest of intentions but the cake turned out so so.

On Sunday we went to the farmer’s market – which is one of our favorite pastimes. We stocked up on all the goods for a gourmet dinner, chatted with a local farmer and went home. While Tim spent the afternoon playing video games (his present) I whipped up a gourmet dinner! It was really good if I do say so myself and I learnt a valuable lesson about diffusing garlic in olive oil. The lesson is this: Just Do It! Mmmmm….

The baby and I are doing great. Some things are now official:

· I am as big as a house
· I waddle
· When I see someone else, I try to act like I was not just waddling
· Clothes that were HUGE are now tight
· My stomach bounces around all over the place with kicks and elbows
· I am getting really excited to meet our baby
· I am getting really scared to be a mommy
· The countdown is on until I am done work (currently at 57 days)

Other than that, life is pretty mundane. The baby’s room is mostly complete – but now I don’t have a camera to show pictures! It looks great. Tim got a whole bunch of gumption and painted the living area “Cotton” which is a white. We have become slightly obsessed with the colour white and I envision this obsession only getting worse with time. Every design I come up with is centered around white. We have a few other little house projects to do, but overall everything is coming along nicely.

Until next time,
Candee